The Window is open, all you have to do is look through it, to see me, and you...

I'm going to be writing something important.

I don't know what is wrong with me.
I should not, and will not feel like shit.
But whenever I think of anything, and mostly everything.

"I never said I'd lie and wait forever, if I died we'd be together...I can't always just forget her, but she could try"

I tell myself not to care.
But I can't help but to.
Maybe it's because for once in my life, I actually give a shit?
No matter what I've never really cared.
Am I afraid?
I don't think I should be.

"At the end of the world, or the last thing I see..."

I'm Enver.
Enver Ahmeti.
Enver Fucking Ahmeti.
I've been me forever.
That's a lie.
I've changed.
I haven't been me.
I've been "nice".
I like it.
I do.
But it's not me.
I'm supposed to be the asshole.
The one who touches on what even YOU would say is wrong.
But to save face, and to feel more accepted.
I say what you want to hear.

"You say you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed"

I can't believe what I've become.
I don't like it.
I dunno how many times I've said it.
And maybe no one should really even see this.
Cause really this is all just for attention.
Maybe I just feel like I want people to care.
ugh.
I'm not even caring what I type anymore.
I really can't stand this shit.
I want her to respond.
But she hasn't.
And what the fuck.
It's like she is ignoring me.
I'm falling for it again.
I really am.
They all fucking do this to me.
Lead me on.
Fucking bullshit.
I try to find one that can mean something to me.
And BOOM.
Vanishes like a fucking ounce of pot at a rehab clinic.
I can get girls.
Just none that I want.
Why do I have to have no luck?
I fucking quit.

"I'm not O-FUCKING-KAY"